Saturday, September 13, 2008

Nursing


I often have to remind myself why I chose Nursing to be my career and then I read things like these and laugh my butt off and remember why.. Thanks Di I can't stop laughing!

I bolded some of my favorites!

You know you are a nurse when....

1) The front of your scrubs reads "Nurses...Here to save your a**, not kiss it!"
2) You occasionally park in the space with the "Physicians only" sign...and knock it over.
3) You believe some patients are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
4) You recognize that you can't cure stupid.
5) You own at least three pens with the names of prescription medications on them.
6) You believe there's a special place for the inventor of the call light.
7) You believe that saying "it can't get any worse" causes it to get worse just to show you it can.
8) You wash your hands BEFORE you go to the bathroom.
9) You believe that any job where you can drive to work in your pajamas is a cool one.
10) You consider a tongue depressor an eating utensil.
11) Eating microwave popcorn out of a clean bedpan is perfectly natural.
12) You've been exposed to so many x-rays that you consider it a form of birth control.
13) You've ever heard a patient with a nose ring, a brow ring, and twelve earrings say "I'm afraid of shots."
14) You've ever placed a bet on someone's blood alcohol level or urine drug screen... and you were right!
15) You've told a confused patient that your name is that of a coworker and to call it out if they need help.
16) Your bladder can expand to the size of a Winnebago's water tank.
17) You have seen more penises than any prostitute could dream of.
18) You believe that not all patients are annoying. Some are unconscious.
19) Your family and friends refuse to watch medical sitcoms with you because you spend the whole time correcting everyone and pointing out upside down x-rays.
20) You don't get excited about blood, unless it’s your own.
21) You've sworn to have "do not resuscitate" tattooed on your chest. Soon!
22) Discussing dismemberment over a gourmet meal is perfectly normal to you.
23) Your idea of fine dining is anywhere you can sit down to eat.
24) Your idea of a good time is a cardiac arrest at shift change.
25) You believe in the aerial spraying of Prozac.
26) You believe that "shallow gene pool" should be a recognized diagnosis.
27) You believe that the government should require permits to reproduce.
28) You believe that unspeakable evils will befall anyone who utters the phrase "Wow, it's really quiet, isn't it?"
29) You have ever wanted to write a book entitled, "Suicide: getting it right the first time."
30) You have ever had a patient look you straight in the eye and say, "I have no idea how that got stuck in there."
31) You've had to leave a patient's room before you begin to laugh uncontrollably.
32) Full body CT-scans would be very beneficial for all patients.
33) You believe it should become a law for only one complaint per visit.
34) You often find yourself checking out arm veins on customers in grocery lines.
35) You can almost SEE the germs on doorknobs and telephones.

8 comments:

Amy Jo said...

KAMI!!!!! YES YES YES I AM SO SORRY. I will call you this week to work it out!

Janelle Shank said...

LOL! i'm sitting in the library laughing...and people are looking at me like i'm crazy haha! I'm so glad we're in this together! Love ya!

Tatum and Chase Rasmussen said...

KAMI!! yahoo! ha I get so excited when new people get blogs. Not that I am a total blog person but its fun to be able to look at other friends! PS-I need your address! you can text it to me if that is easy.

The Brinkerhoff's said...

Hey I didn't know you had a blog!! How fun!!! That is so funny we have the same background that just says we have good taste. Well hope to see you soon

Lovin Family said...

I found you!!!! Love ya girl!

Whitney said...

Okay how do you know Diana irving? They are in our ward and we absolutely love them!!!

Chitney said...

so can i tell you that i love you!!

The Blakes said...

Girlfriend, I understand your pain. I too have experienced 99.9% of these fun facts of nursing life. Okay, so I'm a little, hmmm urked. I started blogging again, so I could be at the top of your little list. Oh, it was great while it lasted. "Jeannie Blake posted 1 hour ago...2 hours ago...etc" Now I'm working my way back to the bottom again. I feel like I'm in a marathon and losing! People are on top of this blogging gig. Holy cow. I'm way below average. Sad