Sunday, February 14, 2010

HOPE

I've been avoiding blogging about a pretty major and crazy day from back in December. Until Yesterday, I dont think I was totally and completely at peace with what had happened.
So, Yesterday Damon and I went out to Dinner and a Movie with 3 other couples for Valentines Day. One of the couples I didn't know, and as the night progressed we got to know each other and this event from December came up. Come to find out that I had heard about this couples story a couple of years ago.

BASICALLY, she is the co-founder of the Non-Profit Organinzation "Lanee's Legacy". ( I have a blog buttom on my sidebar, go check out their blog). Their Organization is for mom's who lose their babies. Rayel and her partners have all lost children. Rayel lost her Son Garrett, at three DAYS old.

Their Organization helps Mom's who deliever their babies and then basically dont get to take their baby home with them. Lanees Legacy provides Baby Boxes for mom's to take home with them after their discharge from the hospital. The boxes contain all sorts of sweet rememberence items, and it provides the mom's with a place to bring blankets, hats, and whatever sweet thing their baby came in contact with home with them.
Rayel, was SO wonderful. She told me about her organization and how when they experienced their loss of their child, that all she could hang onto was HOPE. In the boxes they give to these moms, it usually has a necklace like this one:


Rayel was so sweet and brought me a necklace to remind me their is HOPE.

Now my story is not even compariable to these women and lossing a child. I can't imagine the pain of that experience. But I have experienced 2 miscarriages, and on Decemeber 1, 2009 I experienced the worst pain I have EVER had in my life when I found out I had an Ectopic or Tubel pregnancy.
That day was SO scary for me. I had been in pain all night long and ended up going in for an Ultrasound that next day for them to tell me that I was about 7 weeks pregnant and that it was implanted into my right fallopian tube. Within 3 hours I was IN surgery to have it removed, and LUCKY for me they didnt have to remove my tube! Needless to say, the next two weeks were hard, and I was back in the ER after vomiting for 12 hours straight because of the anestetic, which left me severly dehydrated.
SO it wasn't fun at all. Miscarriages are not fun. Emergency Surgery is NOT fun. There for trying to get pregnant and have a family of our own was becoming NOT FUN.
Until I talked with Rayel I had hid my emotions and didn't say much about how I was really feeling. I was SAD, angry, confused, and really hadn't had much HOPE about getting pregnant and being able to STAY pregnant. Rayel was so great. Even though I didn't experience anything close to her experience, she made me feel SO much better about our situation, and my hardship with these 3 pregnancies. I have been feeling so down about being a mom. Because I want it SO badly. Rayel gave me my HOPE back. I am eternally grateful for her kindness, her soft spoken words, and for my beautiful necklace that reminds me of the sweet spirits that are waiting for me some day. I HOPE so badly that day is soon, but until that Im at peace and will always have that HOPE.
Thanks Rayel.
PLEASE GO TO THEIR WEBSITE AND READ THEIR STORIES AND HELP ANYWAY YOU CAN...

11 comments:

The Brinkerhoff's said...

Sorry That totally sucks!! I know when we had all our problems nothing ever made me feel better!! And my family is good friends with kristina's family and kristina dated my little brother and her older sister dated my older brother!! Hope things get better for you guys let me know if you ever want to talk about it

Laura said...

Kami, this truly broke my heart. I had no idea that you were going through this. I can't even imagine how you really feel.
I love you, and I want you to know if you ever need anyone to talk with, or even make more invitations with. I love you girl!

Gammy & Papa said...

Oh my sweet Kami. As you know very well we have dealt with some of the same pain in our family. As a mother it is about the most difficult thing to see our children suffer. Since you are like on of my own, I have ached for your pain and please know that you have been in my thoughts and prayers. I know there is hope for you; that there is a plan and that thankfully you have a Heavenly Father who knows you and loves you. Hang on and know how much you are loved! Go over to Rachel's and ask her for a hug since I am not there to do it myself!

Rachel said...

yeah, listen to my mom. come over and let me hug you :) i love you

Tatum and Chase Rasmussen said...

Rayael is in my parents ward. She is amazing and you are too. You will get through it and be a great mom someday! We love you!

Brea said...

Thank you so much for sharing this... my hope was almost completely gone, I feel like trying to have a baby is one of the hardest things for us. nothing seem to stick... but I HOPE for you and for me that our day is soon and that a beautiful baby will greet us. Stay strong and keep that HOPE alive.

The B Team said...

You know that I love you; you're my best friend. I think about what you are going through very often. I've always known that you would be the best mom ever...like way better than I'll ever be! I hope you know that I'm always here for you and how great of a person you are.

J and L Palmer said...

kami i'm so sorry you are going through this. i think about you often. i feel surrounded by wonderful women like you who have a hard time getting pregnant, or staying pregnant. and i know coming from me it probably doesn't mean a whole lot. but i am sorry and pray that this miracle happens for you!

What We Love said...

Hey guys, I have no idea how I literally stumbled upon your blog but I AM SO GLAD I DID! Tanner and I just think the world of you guys and I wish we got to see you more than just at family parties. We will have to make that happen sometime soon. I saw your necklace the other day while you were at our house and I've wondered about it ever since. I have so much hope for you too. Love you

Heather said...

Crying. Yep. God has an uncanny way of comforting us just in the nick of time. I'm glad a new friend was there when you needed her & what a blessing. :) Love you sweet girl.

The Boones said...

Hi Kami! This is Grace. You might not remember me, I used to work at Scottsdale with you about a year and a half ago. I found your blog through Di's. I'm sorry about your loss. A loss of a life is always difficult. Back in September I also miscarried. I wish that I knew about Lanee's Legacy. Thank you for sharing about them. I found comfort helping other moms by donating baby items to the Pregnancy Centers around Flagstaff. But I think their program is awesome! No mom should leave the hospital empty handed. Also, I saw your photography site, your photos are amazing!!!